Reusable Slaughter Bottle

Introducing our most exciting advancement in thirst slaughtering yet: The Slaughter Bottle. Originally it was just a Liquid Death can with a dream of dismembering thirsts repeatedly until the earth gets sucked into the sun. It trained. It bulked up. It underwent dangerous experimental procedures at the hands of our least ethical scientists. Now, this towering, hulking drinking vessel is armed with a lid allowing for eternal reusability and brutally murdering thirsts from now until the end of time. It’s the last water bottle you’ll ever need.